Originally written for Rochester Teen-Set Outsider Zine, October 2011
.
In the wake of Ronald McDonald’s termination from the most popular fast food chain in the industry, it has now been confirmed that ‘The Burger King’ has been removed as mascot of the Burger King fast food franchise as well. Experts say this is no coincidence and the message behind this is quite apparent: Americans insist that clowning around with fast food mascots is the number one cause of child obesity. Whether this speculation is true may be yesterdays news, but tomorrows news may be even more horrific. Brace yourself, because McDonalds has hired an entirely more treacherous mascot to replace the benevolent Ronald, his name is Pennywise the Dancing Clown and bad things may happen down the pike.
Pennywise is most famous for terrorizing the the imaginations of children in Stephen King’s highly acclaimed novel, titled: ‘IT’. Since McDonalds is trying to re-emerge as a more healthy eatery, psychologists suggest that Pennywise would frighten children into eating a more structured diet. But most kids find healthy food marginally tasty, and fast food and junk food is much more rewarding for children to eat. This may allude to the fact that a new breed of overly hungry and depressed youth is emerging, and Pennywise could not be happier; he feeds off the the torture and misery of terrified children.
Ironically, Wendy’s food chain is taking an entirely different approach to an ad campaign. Wendy Thomas herself has emerged on Wendy’s commercials, reminding America ‘where the beef is’ and dawning a healthy full figure. She is proud of the ‘hot and juicy burger’ and the public seems to admire that a full figured woman is representing a fast food chain. Many believe that she represents a path to higher self esteem for young American woman who believe that you do not need to starve yourself to look attractive.
Hopefully, our American collective consciousness may lead us to a more rational approach to consumption of fast food, before Stephen King’s fiction becomes our reality. We, at ‘The Outsider Magazine’, urge our readers to reconsider the removal of our public fast food icons and would like to know your opinion on whether you find fast food delicious or even remotely edible.